And How Could I Have Been So Weak?
by rosethornsinmyskin
Summary: She cursed herself as more tears escaped her, knowing the blonde could feel them on her skin. But in response Emma only held her tighter, rubbing her back soothingly. SWAN QUEEN. One shot. Angsty. Based on a true experience I had.


**Author's Note: So I feel a bit of background about this story is due. This is a true story, that actually happened to me. In that case, I was Regina and my friend, - who was JUST my friend besides that night - was Emma. We don't and didn't nearly have the connection that Regina and Emma have. But as they say, I was so cold, and a fire is a fire.**

**Literally the only difference is that I began crying whilst awake, after a particularly triggering conversation, whereas in this fic, Regina's crying is triggered by nightmares.**

**But even the part where Regina and Emma whisper each other's names to each other is, funny enough, true - the friend this happened with also watches OUAT and she called me Regina, in response to which I called her Emma.**

**I regret that night with this girl because we had so many differences - let's just leave it at that. But I don't think Regina and Emma would regret this night together if I were to write a second chapter;) I may not get my happy ending, but Regina certainly deserves hers, and so does Emma.**

**P.S. This takes place on Hook's pirate ship. You can decide whether it's on the way to or from Neverland; it doesn't really matter.**

**Ok I've blabbed enough. Read, think, enjoy. xx**

It was the middle of the night, and Emma couldn't sleep.

It was because of the brunette who she could hear tossing and turning on the bunk beneath her. It appeared Regina's sleep was restless at best, and every once in a while Emma heard a little cry or plea escape her mouth. "No ... no please," "I'll be good, mother, please don't hurt me," "Henry ... no ..." and even once, though she was barely certain, she'd thought she heard Regina whisper "Emma..." It was a broken cry, half clouded with sadness and half in desire.

Then all of a sudden, Emma heard all movement stop. She listened tentatively. Had the nightmares stopped, or ... was Regina awake?

After several minutes of hearing nothing, Emma was about to attempt to go back to sleep before she heard a strangled sob from beneath her.

The sobs continued, in muffles waves. Regina was clearly awake, and she clearly didn't think anyone else was. Emma was telling herself she should ignore it, respect the brunette's privacy, but... something in her pulled her out of bed.

Regina froze as she heard Emma's feet touch the floor. She'd thought she was alone, that everyone else was asleep. She never, in a million years, would have let the blonde, of all people, hear her crying.

But she felt the bed dip, and she knew she couldn't just pretend she was asleep. She turned on her side and whispered, "I'll have you know, Miss Swan that your unwelcome company is not appreciated."

But her voice shook, and betrayed her.

Emma merely smiled sadly at the brunette's defense.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Regina shook her head slowly, not meeting Emma's eyes. What was she going to say? She'd just had a nightmare where her mother had ripped her heart out in front of Henry. Then Pan had appeared, and he and Cora laughed maniacally as Cora used Regina's heart to force her to kill her own son.

It was horibble. But she couldn't talk about it. It would raise too many questions, about her mother, about Henry, and besides, she didn't want to seem more vulnerable than she was already feeling.

Emma nodded slightly, seeing that Regina was thinking deeply but understanding that she didn't want to share. She made to get off the bunk and go back to bed but a hand shot out and grabbed hers.

"Wait," Regina said softly, trying to keep the plea out if her voice. "Stay?" She asked tentatively.

The blonde looked down and entwined her hand with Regina's before saying, "of course." She crawled into bed and Regina clung to her, burying her face in Emma's neck.

She cursed herself as more tears escaped her, knowing the blonde could feel them on her skin. But in reasponse Emma only held her tighter, rubbing her back soothingly.

Once Regina's tears subsided and her breathing returned to normal, she was content to stay in this position and breathe in the blonde's soft, musky scent. Her lips were pressed to the blonde's neck, and suddenly she was very aware of that fact.  
The air changed. Regina couldn't bear pull away, but she was no longer content just lying there. She was acutely aware of the blonde's hand on her waist, of the way their legs were entwined, of the way Emma's face was buried in her hair.  
She arched up slightly to look at the blonde's lips. They were thin, not particularly attractive. But Regina still had the inexplicable urge to kiss them. She was afraid though. What if her gesture wasn't reciprocated?

But she had to do something. She could feel herself growing wet just from contact with the blonde, and the anticipation was killing her. Did Emma feel that anticipation?

She decided to test, arching her neck up so their faces were just inches apart. She could hear the change in Emma's breathing.

Slowly, slowly she moved her face closer to the blonde's. And she could see Emma moving too. And then they were kissing, fiercely, Regina's tongue gaining entrance to Emma's mouth. The blonde held her tighter, and rolled onto her back so Regina was on top of her. She straddled the blonde's waist, their lips locked, and let out a shiver as Emma's hands began to coax up her sides beneath her shirt.

Feeling weak all of a sudden, Regina rolled over and pulled the blonde on top of her. Emma accepted this greedily, her mouth moving across Regina's throat, and Regina let out a low, gutteral moan. Emma smiled lightly against her skin as she trailed a hand up beneath Regina's shirt and bra to cup her waiting breast. As a finger ran over her already taut nipple, Regina moaned again, and she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled her shirt up over her head and threw it aside, giving Emma better acess. The blonde pulled down Regina's black, lace bra so her nipples were exposed, and began to greedily suck on the right while still kneading the left, thumb grazing her nipple.

Regina was being worked into a frenzy, and she needed the blonde to touch her, NOW. She felt Emma's hips grinding against hers and she bucked hard in reciprocation, trying to get as much friction as she could. Emma's mouth unattached momentarily from her nipple and a hand traced up and down Regina's torso. "You're so beautiful," Emma said, as though to herself. Regina was rendered speechless. She knew she was beautiful, she wasn't a fool. But when was the last time she'd heard that in the arms of a lover?

Maybe once, but it seemed like five lifetimes ago.

Regina arched up to Emma's lips again, lightly nipping Emma's bottom lip until the blonde pulled away to rest at her side, tracing lazy circles across Regina's stomach.

"Put your shirt back on," she whispered.

Regina's eyes narrowed. "Back on?" She replied. Was the blonde trying to leave her here, wanton and ungratified?

Emma chuckled, "yes."

"Why," Regina challenged.

"Well for one thing, my parents could wake up," Emma said, but Regina knew there was more to it than that. She didn't do what was asked of her, but she didn't try to continue their ventures either. She supposed this was enough for one night, she thought as she curled up to Emma's side.

Emma smiled then, suddenly elated that the little brunette was lying next to her. "Regina," she whispered.

"Emma," Regina replied. Emma leaned in for a chaste kiss before rolling onto her stomach to sleep, Regina's limbs still slightly tangled with hers.

Regina had trouble falling asleep after that. This may have been a mistake. She didn't know what to make of her feelings for the blonde, and even when they talked over what happened in the morning, as Regina was almost certain they would, she didn't think that was likely to make things any less ambiguous.

The blonde started snoring. 'Charming,' Regina thought with a derisive snort. But she was still glad of the contact, glad she still had a hand on Emma's shoulder and a leg entwined with hers.

That is, until Emma moved away from her in her sleep.

Regina knew the blonde was unconscious, but the gesture still shattered her. She rolled as far away from Emma as she could and wrapped her arms around herself, looking up at the bottom of the bunk above her.

How could she have been so WEAK as to seek comfort with someone like Emma? Or with anyone, for that matter? Had her mother taught her nothing? Love is weakness. Emotion is weakness.

Regina turned away from Emma and willed herself into a troubled sleep. She hoped to feel better in the morning, but somehow, she doubted that was going to happen.


End file.
